As Muslims, all of us need to have good ikhlaq or character 24/7, not just during the holy month of Ramadan. One aspect of good character is saying “sorry” albeit when we might not be wrong so that we can move forward. This means letting go of our ego for this to happen. We are all familiar with the story of Iblis, who refused to prostrate to Adam (AS) when commanded by Allah (SWT). Iblis or Shaytan was full of ego, as he believed that he was a superior creation to Adam (AS).
Therefore, we must examine ourselves and assess if we are also obsessed with ourselves like Shaytan, to the point that Shaytan or our desires can play with our ego. We know there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance and sometimes, we cross this line.
During Ramadan, the devils are chained as explained by the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW).” When Ramadan Begins the gates of Paradise open up; the doors of Hell are locked, and the devils are chained.” (Al-Muwatta 862, Bukhari 1899, Muslim 2548, An-Nasa’I 2105, Ahmed 2/281). Shaytan’s influence lessens during Ramadan, but does this give us the license to continue to behave or act as we normally do outside this holy month? Or is Ramadan a wake-up call for ourselves to improve our behavior and relationships?
Our Nabi (SAW) explains to us the importance of reconciling with our friends and family, “People’s deeds are presented before Allah on Mondays and Thursdays, and then every slave (of Allah) is granted forgiveness (of minor sins) if he does not associate anything with Allah in worship. But the person in whose heart there is rancor against his brother, will not be pardoned.
About them, it is said twice: “Hold these two until they are reconciled.” (Riyad as-Salihin 1593). How many Mondays and Thursdays have passed that we see those people that we have a grudge against or hold a grudge against us but do nothing to patch up with them? We likely try to avoid them so that we don’t have to say “I’m sorry.” We don’t want to face the reality that Islam is bigger than any of us or that this feud might continue with our coming generations if there’s no reconciliation. Allah (SWT) gives us many opportunities to let go of our egos, but sadly, many of us wait until it is too late and we’re lying on our deathbeds.
We must let go of our ego so that we can hold firmly onto our iman or faith. If we can’t do this, then we are bound to hurt not just ourselves but the people around us.
We force the people around us to choose a side, as we are more comfortable with animosity towards another person even though we know that Allah (SWT) doesn’t want this for us. Rather, He (SWT) wants love and tolerance among us.
The Prophet (SAW) reinforced this concept in the following hadith, “It is not permissible for a Muslim to have estranged relations with his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning the other way when they meet; the better of the two is one who is the first to give a greeting.” (Sahih Muslim, Book 32, Number 6210). Also, our Nabi (SAW) is guiding us to try to be the better person by being the first to extend greetings to that person whom we have enmity with.
Allah (SWT) tells us in the Quran about the people of Jannah, “We will remove whatever bitterness they had in their hearts. In a friendly manner, they will be on thrones, facing one another.” (Surah Al-Hijr, Ayat 47). Again, Allah (SWT) reminds us of the same message in Surah Al-Araf, Ayat 43, “We will remove whatever bitterness they had in their hearts. Rivers will flow under their feet. And they will say, “Praise be to Allah for guiding us to this. We would have never been guided if Allah had not guided us. The messengers of our Lord had certainly come with the truth.” It will be announced to them, “This is Paradise awarded to you for what you used to do.” This ayat is explaining to us that without Allah’s (SWT) guidance and instead, acting upon our whims and desires, we would be heading on a path of destruction.
This is an important lesson to understand that when we make efforts to please Allah (SWT), this is considered an act of iman which enhances our connection with Allah (SWT). Therefore, we should let go of our egos and dig deeper to reach out to those with whom we have hostilities to please Allah (SWT) and humble ourselves to Allah (SWT). Also, we should take advantage of the holy month of Ramadan to let go of our egos and reconcile with our estranged brothers and sisters in faith.
