Maulvi’s diet plan

This peculiar occurrence unfolds whenever the Maulvi is offered tea. He fetches sweetener from his pocket, citing doctor’s advice to avoid sugar. However, when presented with halva or any sweet dish, a spectacle ensues.

Consequently, he promptly consults his doctor, lamenting the lack of improvement in his sugar levels. The doctor, questioning his abstinence from sweets, is met with the Maulvi retrieving sweetener from his pocket, proving his compliance. Ironically, the Maulvi deems tea the culprit for sugar-related issues, while sweet dishes seem to act as an antidote.

In another instance, a doctor advises the Maulvi to walk and follow a diet to shed weight. However, when the doctor asks about his daily diet, the Maulvi misunderstands, detailing his meals instead. Despite the doctor’s prescription and the Maulvi’s oath to adhere, a month later, the Maulvi remains unchanged in weight. So, the doctor asks him angrily why he didn’t follow the diet plan.

This invokes Maulvi’s sense of “Ghairat e Imani,” a term used to veil anger, as anger is deemed Haram. Maulvis coined this term to legitimize it. In his fervent “Ghairat e Imani” disposition, Maulvi Sahib remarked, “Ina Lilla Wa Ina Ilya Rayjoon! You accuse religious scholars of falsehood, unaware that some view insulting a Maulvi as kufr. By this measure, you tread the path of apostasy.” Yet, I contend it is you who have strayed into apostasy, warranting death.”

Startled, the doctor’s awareness surged. In an instant, visions of armed figures, including Mumtaz Qadri, flashed before him. Swiftly, before any harm befell him, he reaffirmed his faith under the guidance of the same Maulvi Sahib, saying, “Sir, it appears satanic forces have impeded your path. We must confront them with the strength of our faith.”

The doctor observed the unwavering faith reflected in the Maulvi’s eyes and the radiance that adorned his countenance. Encouraged by this sight, he returned to the primary topic and queried, “Did you strictly adhere to the dietary plan?”

“Absolutely! I consumed precisely what you prescribed. I also maintained the walking regimen,” affirmed the Maulvi.

“Indeed! I covered the entire five kilometers,” he added.

The doctor delved further, “At what time did you walk? What was your pace? And what did you do post-walk? How much water did you intake? Did you consume it immediately or after a brief interval?”

“I walked between Asr and Maghrib, maintaining a brisk pace. Following the walk, I refrained from drinking water. However, on one day, I indulged in three gulab jamuns and two potato samosas on the other,” replied the Maulvi.

Horrified, the doctor exclaimed helplessly, “What!!! But you assured me of adhering to the diet plan!”

“By God, I strictly adhered to it; not the slightest deviation occurred,” insisted the Maulvi.

“Then what about those three gulab jamuns and two potato samosas?” questioned the doctor.

“You instructed me to eat, did you not? So, I consumed those foods separately, as per your plan,” explained the Maulvi.

You see the tragedy, here? The Maulvi misunderstood the doctor’s terminology. This misinterpretation results from the doctor’s use of “meals” instead of “eating,” leading to a tragicomic misunderstanding. Nonetheless, amidst this debacle, the doctor’s faith is restored, averting a grim fate.