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Umm Ayman: Our Nabi’s (SAW) Second Mother

Salman Rasheed by Salman Rasheed
April 30, 2021

Barakah Bint Thalabah or Umm Ayman (RA), as per her kunya, was one of the most important women in the life of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW).  Umm Ayman was originally a slave of the Prophet’s (SAW) father but later freed. She was a black woman from Abyssinia and served the Prophet’s (SAW) family her entire life.  Moreover, Umm Ayman was likely the first person to hold the Prophet (SAW) when he was born and some scholars believe that she was the second woman to accept Islam.

She took guardianship of our Nabi (SAW) at the age of six after the death of his mother Aminah on the journey back from visiting the grave of the Prophet’s (SAW) father.  The Prophet (SAW) and Umm Ayman also accompanied Aminah on this journey.  Imagine this scene where the Prophet (SAW) is watching his mother die in front of him and the only person present to console him is Umm Ayman, a 19-year-old black slave girl.  In a state of immense grief, Umm Ayman digs Aminah’s grave with her two hands and laid her to rest.

Umm Ayman loved our Nabi (SAW) just as a mother would love her only child and the Prophet (SAW) returned her compassion, and described her as “my mother after my own mother had gone.”  He (SAW) loved her and wanted to return her kindness and thus, at the time of his marriage to Khadijah (RA), he (SAW) set her free.  

The Prophet (SAW) also married her to Ubayd ibn Zayd and she gave birth to Ayman.  However, the marriage did not last long as Ubayd ibn Zayd died a martyr in the battle of Khaibar; so, the Prophet (SAW) married her to the man he loved most, Zayd ibn Harithah, whom he had earlier set free and adopted as a son.  She gave Zayd a son, Usamah, whom our Nabi (SAW) loved as his own son.

Some scholars state that Umm Ayman was around 100 years old when she passed away during the Khilafat of Hazrat Usman (RA).  Given her lifespan, she was able to narrate many important events, and our information of the early life of our Nabi (SAW) is due to her accounts.  The fact that the Prophet (SAW) gave her glad tidings of Paradise twice (Tabaqat-Ibn Sad) indicates her great standing.

The Prophet (SAW) would visit her daily and one visit when he (SAW) asked Umm Ayman, “O my Mother, how are you doing?” she replied, “As long as Islam is good, I’m good.”  This shows her strong dedication to the Prophet’s (SAW) cause and the message to him (SAW) that she will never forsake him and never complain.

After migrating to Madinah to join the Prophet (SAW), Umm Ayman was ready to defend him (SAW) from the attacks of the unbelievers.  At Uhud, when the Makkans attacked him in Madinah, she was with a small group of women who tended to the wounded.  As some Muslims began to flee the battlefield when the going was tough, she scolded them, urging them to go back and fight.  Umm Ayman threw sand on the runaway soldiers, offered them a spindle, and said, “give me your sword and you spin the spindle.”

At the battle of Hunayn, Umm Ayman again joined the army alongside her two sons fighting together with the Prophet (SAW). Her elder son, Ayman died in that battle.  Usamah in his mid-twenties became commander of an army to march to the border areas of the Byzantine Empire.

After the Prophet (SAW) had passed away, Abu Bakr (RA) and Umar (RA) visited Umm Ayman, just like the Prophet (SAW) used to visit her. They wanted to inquire after her as they knew how our Nabi (SAW) cared for her.  When they were with her, she cried. They tried to console her, saying that the Prophet’s (SAW) position with God was better than life on earth.  She told them that she was fully aware of that, and it was not for the loss of the Prophet (SAW) that she wept. She wept “because revelation from on high had ceased.”  She moved them to tears and wept with her.  This is a far-sighted view, recognizing that revelation meant so much for that first-generation Muslim community, ensuring that Allah’s (SWT) care was ready for them.  With the Prophet (SAW) gone and revelations ended, the Muslim community became orphaned and now had to look after itself.

It’s significant to note that Umm Ayman was one of the first Black Muslim women in Islam, and she played an important role in the life of the Prophet (SAW), as she was with him (SAW) from cradle to grave.  He (SAW) respected and honored her as his own mother, as she was his custodian.  Muslims today should also hold her in the highest regard, and recognize her race.  Unfortunately, racism still exists in many communities, including among us Muslims, as people are quick to stereotype those different from themselves.  It was the Prophet (SAW) who elevated her status despite the difference in color, race, wealth, and societal status showing that true Islam doesn’t discriminate on worldly and human distinctions but piety and good deeds. 

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