Third-class liberals

We have almost become accustomed to the idea that we always received blessings from beyond our borders. The issue is not limited to consumer goods but extends to intellectual fields. In this regard, we should thank God that we don’t import mangoes from the West.  Otherwise, we could witness that ‘Babu’ people would eat sour mangoes just because they are “imported”.

I had also met some intellectuals, who believe that pure honey, cow’s milk, pure buttermilk and brown egg should not be used. These items should only be used if they have passed through factory machines. Now God knows the truth, but the middle class people who use these pure substances, they still prefer treatment in our government hospitals.

Meanwhile, every disease of so-called intellectuals (Babu) has its cure across the border. God has also arranged diseases for such people according to their protocols. Believe me, when I visited to see one such intellectual (Babu), the names of disease which he mentioned, I had never heard of.

Now, I had formulated a straightforward rule not to ask such people what disease he is suffering from. Instead, the first question we ask is, “How are you doing now?” The answer is always the same: “Better”.

Interestingly, since expensive European and Japanese products have been replaced by cheaper Chinese products, the imitation of such intellectuals (Babu) has become easier for the middle class as well. Not only the first but also the second and third “copy” of every world famous brand is available in the market.

We were impressed for a long time by the first copies of one Mr Khattak. He carried the first copy of everything including clothes, shoes, glasses, iPhone and laptop. Whenever he came to meet us, the car was different. We thought he lived in Clifton and owned a lot of cars, but one night we passed through Qasba Colony and saw him in dhoti vests. The next day I heard from some friends in the same area that Mr Khattak works for a company that manages vehicles.

Babu is no longer the name of a class. Rather, it became the name of a state. Number one, Babu is a prisoner of superiority, and number two Babu always feels inferior. In the age of social media, Babu be of the first category or of the second, the priority for both is to prove themselves “liberal.”

We had many so-called liberals, but we never saw how liberals “are made”. The main role in its creation was the barber and tailor. The barber made his clean shave, while the tailor took the size of the pants coat instead of the Kurta Shalwar.

After changing the look, the most important thing for him was to change the position of some things in his heart and mind while changing some references in the conversation. He relocated the things he had previously placed in the good category and placed them in a special box for bad items and vice versa. The references changed in such a way that first he used to recite Allama Iqbal’s poems, now all of a sudden Iqbal’s place has been assigned to John Elia. Take it, sir! The third copy of the Liberals is ready.

For such third-class liberals, the only thing to keep in mind is that Mahmoud Ghaznavi was a bandit who invaded India, while the two Bush who invaded Baghdad were gods of peace. India and Israel are very good countries while Russia and China are bad.

Some other things such liberals should keep in mind are that: Water cooler should be offered as an alternative to Hajj. The woman wearing the burqa has to be criticized and “justification” has to be made for the prostitute.

No matter how liberal they may call themselves, but without going into any scholarly debate, the difference between the original and the copy is so obvious that Muslims in the United States have to deal with as much trouble as the Conservatives do. Whenever Muslims get support, it comes from liberals. Even in the religious affairs of Muslims, liberals are their helpers.

Our indigenous liberals are the exact opposite. Their general attitude, and then especially their attitude against Islamic values, is not that of the American Liberals but that of the Conservatives. Because they don’t even know what liberalism is.

Here in Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto Shaheed was a genuine liberal. To be fair, has Maulana Fazlur Rehman been her most trusted and close political ally all her life? But we all know very well what the attitude of such liberals is with Fazlur Rehman. These third copies believe that simply wearing a coat and trousers, eating while standing and satirizing Eastern values makes one liberal.