How would our Nabi (SAW) advise us?

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has given us many clear pieces of advice to keep us on the right path and thus if we end up straying away from this path then we are at fault.  Our Nabi (SAW) emphasized the importance of Muslims giving naseeha or sincere advice to each other as one of the six rights a Muslim has over his fellow Muslim.  “The Muslim has six rights over another Muslim. It was said to him: ‘O’ Allah’s Messenger, what are these?’ Thereupon he said: When you meet him, offer him greetings; When he invites you to a feast, accept it; When he seeks your counsel (advice), give it to him; When he sneezes and says: “All praise is due to Allah,” you say “Yarhamuk-Allah” (may Allah show mercy to you); When he falls sick, visit him. And when he dies, follow his bier (Janazah).” (Sahih Muslim).

Our Nabi (SAW) told us that goodness will prevail among his nation if we continue to offer sincere advice to each other.  Also, Allah mentions the same in the Holy Quran, “Except those who believe and do good, and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other patience.” (Surah Al-Asr Ayat 3).  This means we must continually keep a check on each other, motivate and inspire one another so that we can try to strive together.

However, we must be open to receiving sincere advice rather than shunning it as an intrusion in our personal affairs.  Sincere advice is like a valuable jewel that a person should seek and give with the intent of getting the closest to the directions of the sincerest advisor sent to us, the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW).

Let us examine the techniques taught by our Nabi (SAW) in giving sincere advice to each other.  Whenever the Prophet (SAW) would give advice, he (SAW) would place his ego to the side because he (SAW) was concerned for other person’s welfare.  We can see this in many examples when our Nabi (SAW) used to talk to the most hostile people in Makkah who displayed no generosity to him in either words or actions.  But the Prophet (SAW) was patient, kind, and gentle with them in the hopes that in the end, they would see the error of their ways and get them to act in their best interests.  He (SAW) didn’t want to be victorious over them but to reach Jannah together.

However, nowadays, we see the opposite as people in the name of naseeha try to humiliate others when giving advice.  And thus, when our Nabi (SAW) wanted to correct someone who was saying something wrong, he (SAW) would never mention that person by name but would say a group of people said or did so and so, as this would not humiliate a specific person and hope that his advice or admonishment would reach that person.

Furthermore, regarding the value of private naseeha, Imam Shafi’i said, “Whoever admonishes his brother in private has been sincere to him and protected his reputation. Whoever admonishes him in public has humiliated him and betrayed him.”  We need to remember that Muslims are one family and that we shouldn’t publicly berate each other like foes albeit Allah (SWT) has commanded us not to humiliate our enemies.  The Prophet (SAW) taught us. “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim. He neither oppresses him, nor does he look down upon him, nor does he humiliate him.” (Sahih Muslim).     

The Prophet (SAW) would advise in proportion, that is according to the person’s ability to handle it and their temperament at that time.  Our Nabi (SAW) didn’t go overboard in teaching knowledge to even the Sahaba in the fear that they would run away from the religion, “The Prophet (SAW) used to take care of us in preaching by selecting a suitable time, so that we might not get bored. (He abstained from pestering us with sermons and knowledge all the time).” (Sahih Bukhari 68). 

When our Nabi (SAW) spoke personally to someone, he (SAW) wouldn’t mention the bad quality he (SAW) was trying to rectify before mentioning something good about that person.  Also, when delivering naseeha, the Prophet’s (SAW) body language would be caring and affectionate.  Many hadiths narrate how our Nabi (SAW) would place his hand on the person’s shoulder when speaking to them.  Imagine how that person felt when the greatest leader in history had his hand on their shoulder, smiles and looks them in the eyes, tells them what they need to hear, and puts them at ease when giving advice. 

Advising others is vital to improving ourselves, our families, and our communities.  Nevertheless, it is necessary to understand the importance, virtue, and etiquette behind this prophetic practice.  We must also remember that while advising others for the sake of Allah (SWT) has its reward; our highest priority needs to be improving ourselves.